Communicating on Levels

Perhaps one of the key things about the active listening mode is that the listener consciously operates on three levels of communication.

3 levels of communication

Most conversations move through the three levels depicted above:

Social Level - when people are casually conversing (or chatting) about jokes, the weekend, hobbies, office politics, etc.
Task Level - when people are more serious discussing what needs to be done and how it should be carried out.
Feelings Level - when people are discussing personal views and feelings, usually being quite heated/excited about it.

Some key points are:

Sometimes, individuals can become "locked" on one of these levels and refuse to move. For example:
- Some people get locked onto the "Social" level and tell jokes or chat when everyone else is trying to work.
- Others can be very intense about their job or hobby and seem unwilling to talk about anything else.
- Still yet others always seem to work on a "Feelings" level - not just when they are complaining about something but generally.
There is some element of a hierarchical relationship here in terms of "depth". By depth we mean that shallower, or more superficial levels seem easier to reach than deeper (feelings) levels. Deeper levels of communication seem to be the mark of longer-term, more trusting relationships; shallower levels appear to characterise shorter-term, less trusting relationships.
It is often difficult/uncomfortable to remain on one level all the time. Most conversations move up & down.
Respond on appropriate level. If someone is complaining then they often come in on the Feelings level. respond on that level and then try to move them onto one of the others.